Two-way Mirror

Tags

attraction, emotions, heartache, long distance relationships, love, mirror, reflection, relationships

You’re a reflection of me

I see me in you, you in me

On opposite sides, facing each other

Seeing but not seeing

Touching yet not touching

Our breathing mirrored by each other

Our hearts beating in time

Right beside you yet so far away

I see myself, I see you

I reach out to touch the glass

It divides us

I touch

And I’m touching me.

21/03/2013

If You Only Believe

Tags

believe, conviction, faith, God's will, inspiration, purpose, vision

What do you do when you’re the only one who believes in something? It could be a dream or vision you have, which in your innermost being you hold with conviction that it is God’s purpose for your life. That once you embark on the journey that will lead to its accomplishment, God will guide you and help you achieve that dream.

Sometimes though, all the people around you, those you hold dear, your family and closest, most trusted friends might not believe in your dream. It can be disheartening to say the least. And you will be faced with the struggle between listening to the voices of these people you trust so much and following your heart, following what your instincts tell you. If you are not strong enough to hold on to this conviction, you risk losing faith in your own purpose and succumbing to the doubts created by the cacophony of these naysayers. It is at this time when you are faced with so much doubt that you must seek God’s guidance, seek His direction, ask Him to grant you the strength to follow through with the purpose He has for your life.

It is never easy. And there are so many people who give up at the slightest sign that no one supports them in their vision/dream. But you must trust that God will not give you a task you cannot perform. Once you have faith in Him, He will equip you with strength and everything else you will need to follow through with your dreams. Believe in yourself and believe in God and watch Him do amazing things in your life. 

I Love Hard

Tags

commitment, emotions, faith, love, poem, strength, unwavering love

It’s been too long since I posted anything here. I’ve allowed other things to keep me busy. I’m working on giving my writing a more prominent position in my life. Anyway, here’s a short poem i wrote sometime last week. Enjoy !

* * *

I love hard

don’t you know?

Don’t you go taking me for a ho

Don’t leave me hanging

Don’t make me beg

Don’t make me feel

Like shackles on your leg

I love hard

I love strong

My love makes right

All they say is wrong

So don’t go relaxing,

don’t you dare leave me

with all the tasking.

I love hard

I’ll love you forever

Through the tough times

And temptations to sever

My love will keep us

And we’ll stay together

I love hard

But do right by me

Don’t trample on my love

Lest my love chooses to flee

Once she goes, she won’t come back

And what once you had in heaps

You’ll surely start to lack.

I love hard

So hold me close

And never let go.

More – Part II

Tags

confusion, couples, divorce, emotions, fear, Ghanaian, heartache, heartbreak, love, marriage, pain, relationships, sadness, silence

Afiba couldn’t hold it in any more, her previously carefully composed form broke down in heart-wrenching sobs. She shook visibly as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She attempted to mop up her tears with the tissue she had been gripping tightly in her hand but it was sodden wet in no time. She dropped it in her lap and covered her face with her hands as she doubled over as though in physical pain.

Nana was shocked. He had never seen his wife give in to such raw emotion before. She was always so composed and in control. But this was a situation they hadn’t been in before. They probably would never have found themselves here had it not been for that incident.

Although he hated to see her in such pain, Nana expressed no emotion as he said stiffly, “Get yourself together, Afiba. We don’t have much time; I need to get back to the office”

“Nana, I know you’re deeply hurt but show some compassion. Afiba is still your wife after all.” The marriage counselor spoke softly. “Afiba, let it all out. It will do you no good to keep your feelings bottled up. Here,” he extended a pristine white handkerchief towards her.

Afiba took the hanky and proceeded to wipe her tears. She sat up straight and visibly seemed composed again except for the telltale tears which leaked from the corners of her eyes. “I’m s-s-s-sorry,” she sobbed as she dabbed at her eyes once more.

“Don’t apologize for what you’re feeling, Afiba,” the counselor said kindly but firmly.

Nana glanced over at his wife with a mixture of sadness and disgust. He looked away as he remembered the events of the night from two weeks before.

* * *

Afiba’s scream of another man’s name hit Nana like a slap in the face. He pulled out of her and looked down into her face in shock. He watched as realization of what she had just done dawned on her. Before she could touch him he had moved out of the bed, pulled on his boxers and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Afiba sat up in their bed, pulling the sheets up to cover herself as she felt a coldness descend in the room. The room that had previously been filled with hers and her husband’s passion-filled moans was dead silent.  She stayed frozen on the bed, unsure of what to do next.

God, what had she done?? How had she let his name slip out like that? And of all the times, it had to be in that most inappropriate of moments!

She stepped out of the bed quietly, not wanting to disturb the ominous silence that had descended on the house and slipped on her bedroom slippers. She unhooked her morning gown from where it hung behind the bedroom door and wore it, tying it tightly at the waist. She quickly relieved and cleaned herself up in their en suite bathroom and left the room to follow Nana, hoping she could reason with him.

As she moved to the stairs that led to the lower level of their two storey house, she noted that the hallway was empty and the two rooms beside the master bedroom were still closed as they always were. She walked down the stairs gingerly, not wanting to alert Nana of her approach in case he was in the living room. The living room and dining hall were cloaked in semi-darkness as the curtains were still drawn. Afiba flicked on one of the lights; she was alone. Next she checked the kitchen which was silent except for the gentle hum of the refrigerator. She opened the door leading out of the kitchen and stepped out into their backyard and walked down the stone slab path that went through the middle of the lawn and led to the front. The garden lights provided enough illumination for her to realize he was definitely not in the backyard.

She came to a startled halt when she got to the front of their house. There was an empty space next to her car where Nana usually parked his; he was gone.

* * *

Afiba carefully applied her makeup, doing her best to conceal the puffiness of her eyes. She had slept fitfully the night before. After numerous calls to Nana had been met with the service provider’s automated message of “ switched off”, she had called his best friend Kwame who had assured her that he was safe and sound but wasn’t ready to talk to her just yet. He had advised her not to worry but to try and get some sleep. Even as she had thanked him and ended the call, she had known sleep would be the last thing on her mind that night. Her mind had raced with questions. She had no idea what Nana was thinking and it worried her. She had eventually drifted off into a dreamless sleep, tossing and turning the whole night through.

Her makeup was done and she was satisfied with the results. She would go to work, perform her duties as normal and no one would be the wiser. It was bad enough that Kwame had been made aware that something was wrong between her and Nana; she didn’t need anyone else knowing that.

Just as Afiba got up from her seat behind the vanity table, her phone vibrated on the bed. She walked over quickly to it and saw that it was from Nana. She eagerly swiped the screen and the message popped open. It was only one line;

“I want a divorce”.

* * *

More

Tags

desire, emotions, first love, heartbreak, letting go, love, marriage, passion, relationships, unrequited love(?)

In the end everyone wants more….

She could recall so clearly the very words she’d said to him when he told her that what they had was all he’d ever be able to give her, nothing more. With her heart bursting with the love she had come to have for him, she had said without hesitation, “All you have to give is enough for me”.

And now it had come to this. She wanted more. Just texting and phone calls were no longer enough. The bi-monthly visits she had previously treasured and guarded close to her heart now only succeeded in whetting her appetite for more. More time together, more of his love, more of him.

He sighed and she could feel the sadness and remorse the sound carried with it. “Afiba, my love, we’ve talked about this before…” he sighed again. “It can’t be more than this”

“Why not?” she asked defiantly, with a stubborn lift of her chin. “I love you…you love me…at least I feel like you do…” she trailed off softly.

“You know I love you!” he said forcefully, almost enraged at the trace of doubt in her voice.

“So why can’t we be more than this?” she persisted.

“Baby…” he reached for her and she took a step back, out of his reach. His hand fell back to his side. “You know it’s more than that… It would be near impossible”

“Keyword: “near” but not entirely impossible” she pointed out. “Can’t we try?” she moved forward and into his arms. His arms held her close. She sighed as she rested her head on his chest. For a few moments they stayed that way, her head on his chest, his chin resting on her head while he rubbed her back idly with one hand, their breathing being the only sound.

He broke the silence. “You know I want nothing more than to call you mine for all time, for the whole world to know….” He hesitated.

She looked up at him. “But.” She stated. “It’s ok, don’t speak any more”. She started to lower her head again but his finger under her chin tilted her face back up. Her eyes shimmered with yet unshed tears.

He hated to be the cause of her tears. He kissed first one eyelid and then the other. The tears slid down her cheeks.  He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her hungrily as though it were their last, moulding her body tightly to his and holding her as though he would never let go.

* * *

Fast forward 10 years and the tables had turned. She sighed deeply, still facing away from her husband. Things had been ok till now. Even if she wasn’t entirely happy, at least she was content. And now he wanted more.

He was still speaking, “…I know you can never love me like you did him” Nana said it with more than a hint of envy, “but can’t you find even the tiniest space in your heart for me? I love you, Afiba…” he finished sadly.

She could sense the desperation in his words. She hated that. She turned to face him and began to speak. His finger on her lips hushed her.

“I know what you’re going to say. But don’t worry; we don’t have to deal with all that now. All I’m saying is I just wish the woman I call my wife were in love with me. Even just a bit” he said wistfully, his eyes pleading as his hand moved to caress her cheek.

The sadness in his eyes was her undoing. She hated herself for not loving him. But God knew she had tried. She had really tried. But Kojo still had her heart. So many years had gone by yet her heart was still firmly in his grasp.

She turned her face into his palm, closing her eyes. She kissed him softly in its centre. Raising her head, she put down his hand and held his face with both hands. She drew him towards hers, their lips touched and their breathing quickened as the kiss intensified. Their tongues played around each other, teeth teasing and biting each other’s lips. He lifted her slightly, positioning her beneath him. He pressed his lean, hard body against her softness; she could feel the throbbing of his unmistakable erection against her thigh. She arched her back, pressing back against him. He moaned, his kisses becoming more demanding, his hands exploring her body. He kneaded her breast, and his caress became gradually rougher.

“I love you so much, Afiba” he murmured with intense emotion. “Please love me too…”

“I will” she promised, her body humming, ready for him to take her.

He unraveled deftly the satin ribbon that held the closure of her nightgown. He broke the kiss and moved his head down, inhaling deeply between her breasts. He teased one nipple with his tongue then moved to the other, one hand cupping her buttock, the other slipping between her thighs into her wetness. She moaned. He rubbed her swollen bud slowly, gradually increasing the pace, their breaths quickening simultaneously. He covered her lips with his as she began to cry out as the pressure built up deep within her, threatening to push them both over the edge. As he felt her body coiling up, on the verge of climax, his turgid manhood slid into her warmth, taking possession where his fingers had been earlier. He thrust deep into her, filling her, her tremors of pleasure engulfing his entire being. He grabbed her buttocks roughly, pushing himself deeper into her, willing their bodies become one. And as they exploded together in climax, he called out her name but not loud enough to drown out her scream of release….

“KOJO!!!”

* * *

New Year, More Discipline (hopefully) :)

Tags

discipline, fresh start, motivation, new year, writing

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here’s to a year of amazing things. I think I use the word amazing way too much but then again, it’s the first word that popped into my head. I digress. The point of this post is to herald a year of regular writing on here, on my being more interactive with my followers and basically, to get me to be more disciplined about posting here more regularly.

I have a few stories frolicking in my brain waiting to be let out so hopefully I won’t let laziness keep them cooped up in there.

I’m going to start off with a story I wrote last year in November, I think. It’s titled “More” I will make more of an effort to not just leave the story hanging but continue from where I left off. In the meantime, let me end here so I can post it. Please do well to comment after reading, it’s nice to hear what you think about what I write. So once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Her

Tags

betrayal, boyfriend, cheating, girlfriend, heartbreak, love, pain, relationships, side chick

It’s been quite a while since I posted anything here. So I’m ending the drought with a short piece I wrote a while back. It was initially intended to be posted on another blog but it wasn’t so… Anyway, enjoy! Any comments will be appreciated

* * *

She laughed. That cute, sweet, tinkling laugh only he could bring out of her. He smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss. In that moment, they both remembered what had made them fall for each other. And everything else in the world disappeared except them, in that moment.

His lips were a breath away from hers. His phone rang. It was in his breast pocket so it jolted them out of the moment but his face remained close to hers even as he reached in between them to pull out the intruding item. His eyes darted to his screen to check the caller ID. He muted the phone but when he looked back up into her eyes, she could see the change that had taken place there and she knew. It was her.

He kissed her deeply but the moment was gone and just like that they were back to how things had always been since she came into the picture.

They finished their lunch and continued chatting and laughing in that intimate way couples who had been together long enough had a way of doing. To outsiders, they were the perfect picture of true love. But on the inside, things were different.

He made to get up and as she started to follow suit, he stopped her. “Babe, I need to use the gents first, wait here?” he said, as though it were a question. But they both knew it was an instruction.

She sat back down. “Of course, hun” she let out a smile easily.

She watched him as he walked away and wished she hadn’t when she noticed him take out the phone again, placing it against his ear even as he turned round the corner.

SHE

She looked round at the other people in the restaurant, families on a day out, groups of teenagers sharing soft drinks and gossip, anywhere to keep her mind from going where it inevitably would if she let it. But go it did to that place she didn’t want it to.

She sighed. She just didn’t understand why he was doing this to her, to them. What at all was he getting from her that she hadn’t always given and was still giving?? Of course she knew she was partly to blame. Ok, the blame was all hers. But hadn’t she apologized several times already about that one indiscretion she’d had while he’d been away? After all, he was the only one she had ever loved, still loved and would always love. That thing with that guy had been just sex and nothing more. Oh how she wished she could go back to that night and stop herself from getting into that guy’s car and then embarking on the worst mistake she had ever made. Knowing she had led him into her arms didn’t make it any easier to handle. How did you watch the man you love give away some of his loving, no matter how little, to another?? But she had come to accept it was her cross to bear and she was willing to wait for however long it would take for him to realize she would never hurt him like that ever again. She loved him that much.

HE

Even as he blatantly lied about needing the gents, he knew she knew he was lying. It was the new game they played. It wasn’t any easier on him; it hurt him to see the pain in her eyes every time he gave some flimsy excuse to attend to her. He wasn’t cut out for this, and he was already tired of it. But he would be damned if he would let her know that in spite of all the pain she’d put him through he still loved her as deeply and desperately as he had from the moment he’d first set eyes on her. He didn’t even really like her; she wasn’t even close to being half the woman his girl was. Hell, even the sex was mediocre. Thing was, she was the one for him; she got him like no one else had and ever could. She was gorgeous inside and out and when he was with her, nothing else in the world mattered but for the fact that they were together. But this had to be done, he tried to convince himself. So she would know what it felt like to have the one you love not be completely yours. To remind her he had options if ever she were to pull that stunt again. Deep down, he knew he was only covering up what this was all about. She had scared him shitless; the realization of how much he truly loved her had shaken him to the core and he had to make sure she never fully realized that. So, he dialled her number again.

As usual, she picked on the first ring. Her overly giddy voice came through the phone and into his ear, “Hey babe! Am I seeing you today?”

The vivid image of his girlfriend waiting patiently at the table he’d just left popped unbidden into his mind’s eye. He willed the image away. Sighing heavily, he tried to muster some enthusiasm into his response.

* * *

5/07/2012 © AKK

Wishes

Tags

emotions, forbidden, heartbreak, love, pain, sadness, silence, wish

Wish I’d never met you

Wish I could have kept you

Wish I’d never known such joy

Wish I couldn’t picture our baby boy

Wish you were here next to me

Wish we could always be

Wish this pain would fade

Wish we could have stayed

Wish my heart wasn’t breaking

Wish our love couldn’t be shaken

Wish that I could hate you

Wish all wishes came true.

It’s My Birthday! :)

Tags

birthday, blessed, changes, joy, life, new beginning, new year, thankful

(This was originally intended to be posted on 8th September)

It’s been a year of discovery

It’s been a year of fun

A year filled with heavy tears

Learning to overcome old fears

The Lord has brought me far

Further than I could have ever thought

Even though easy it has not been

In me much change has been wrought

 

So I thank my Lord for the year gone

Looking ahead to victories to be won

Letting go all the pains of old

For the future beckons brighter than gold

I have long awaited a day like this

Filled with laughs and merry bliss

So as I celebrate my life today

Shout with me, “Hip hip hooray!”

- 7^th August, 2012 (6:37 am)

I’m Back! :)

Tags

rant

So….

I’ve been away from here for a while. Had planned to post a poem i wrote specifically for my birthday but, alas, I typed it and saved it only on my laptop and my laptop has been “ill” for the past 2 weeks so couldn’t post that. Couldn’t sign in to my blog either cos I had saved the password on my laptop and all I do is click ‘login’ whenever I open the site thus, had obviously forgotten my own password (thinking to self, ‘I have too many passwords in my life now! I can’t take it any more! *hurls self off a cliff*). Ahem, ignore that random moment of madness. Now where was I? Aha! Why I haven’t posted in a while. The real world has been keeping me busy too. But I’m here now . So, lessons I’ve learnt: 1. Don’t forget your own password! Better yet, create passwords that are simple enough to remember but difficult for others to figure out.       2. Cultivate the habit of writing on paper (that has always been my preferred method anyway but it seems I’ve also been unwittingly sucked into the technology-reliant world that we currently live in. Today I emancipate myself from technology slavery! Err…ok, maybe tomorrow…)

Anyway, enough rambling. I’m going to put up my birthday poem in a bit. thanks for listening (i.e. reading)